A professional longarm machine quilter for hire and some of the work I've done.
I handed the teller at my bank a withdrawal slip for $400. I said “May I have large bills please.” She looked at me and said, “I’m sorry ma’am, all the bills are the same size.” DUH!
When I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up my car I was told the keys had been accidently locked in it. I went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered it unlocked. Hey it’s open! I announced to the technician. He replied to me, yeah, I know. I already got that side. DUH!
I had to have the garage door opener repaired. The repairman told me one of my problems was that I did not have a large enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute and said that I had the largest one made by that company at the time I bought it. A 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, “Lady you need a 1/4 horsepower motor.” I replied back, ” But 1/2 is bigger than 1/4.” He said, “NO lady, it’s not. Four is larger than two.” DUH!
I haven’t called that repair company since.
Not long ago I went through a fast food take-out window and gave the clerk a $5 bill. My total was $4.25 so I also handed her a quarter. She said, “You gave me too much money.” I replied, “Yes, I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.” She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did but he handed me back the quarter and then said, “We’re sorry but we can’t do that kind of thing.” DUH! Then the clerk proceeded to give me back $1.75 in change. DUH!
Warning: Do not confuse the clerks in a drive through.
My daughter went to a local Taco restraunt and ordered tacos. She asked the person behind the counter for “minimal lettuce”. He replied, “I’m sorry but we only have iceberg lettuce.” DUH!
Not long ago, I was at the airport helping my teenage grandson get checked in for his flight home to Alaska. An airport employee asked us, “Has anyone put anything in your luggage without your knowledge?” To which I replied, “If it was without our knowledge, how would we know?” DUH!
He smiled knowingly and nodded. “That’s why we ask.”
I was chauffeuring a neighbor shopping when we happened to stop at a red light where we could hear a buzzer coming from the crosswalk. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for? I explained that the signal was to let blind people know when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, “What on earth are blind people doing driving?” DUH!
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear co-worker who was leaving the company due to downsizing. Our manager stood up and commented cheerfully, “This is fun. We should do this more often.” DUH! Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer in the headlights stare.
That was a lunch at Texas Instruments.
I explained to a neighbor how using a power strip could save money on the electric bill so he went and bought one for himself. He brought it home, plugged his appliances into it, then proceeded to plug it back into itself. He complained to me that he couldn’t, for the sake of his life, figure out why his system would not turn on when he flipped the switch. DUH!
He works at the utility company.
How would you pronounce this child’s name? Le-a
Lee A?? NOPE
Lei?? Guess Again. This child’s mother was irate because everyone at the school is getting her name wrong. It’s pronounced “Ledasha” . When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, “the dash don’t be silent.” DUH!
SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce the dash. If dey axe you why, tell dem de dash don’t be silent.
I have been having so many Senior DUH! moments that I thought those example would point out young people have them too. What’s even worse than they walk among us? They are reproducing young-uns just like em. DUH!